Fat Feeling

Okay, so I have this idea that I would love to for to happen… And the only one who can do it is me. One thing tough – it will put me in a vulnerable spot and I wonder if it will “mark” me for life. For instance, like an actor who only does romantic comedies or horror movies, I would hate that! Because I just don’t want to make one type of movie – or in my case, I just don’t want to help just one group of people. But this has been such huge part of my life and I hope and think that if I share my story it will not only just help others, but it will also help me to feel better in my own skin and be more comfortable with myself.  

Something I have struggled with my entire life is my body. I have felt fat or ugly more or less all my life. I have had people comment on my body as long as I can remember from family, friends, frenemies, teachers, doctors, strangers, lovers.... Sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes whit the intension of being nice but it ended up making me feeling worse. Do you know what I mean? “Good for you wearing that tight top – you have the right showing of your body too!”. Yeah… thanks a lot…

I’m hardly the only person who has felt like this. I actually think that everybody has felt this way about their body at some point in their life. I know that everyone has better or worse days, but for you to wake up and feel that you will have a bad day because you are worrying about what people are going to think of you because the shape of your body, the state of your hair, the gap between your teeth, the length of your arms or in my case – the fat that is my belly, thighs, arms and back THAT IS NOT FINE.

That’s why I think it is important that I do this. That more people will stand up and say for themselves, and for others, no more. No more of the bullshit that I have to be the “right” weight, the “right” height, the “right” pretty. I’m clamming my right to be judge on the way that I am as a person,  I want to be judge on my actions not by my appearance starting now and continuing on forward. From now on I have Fat Feeling -  A big Fat Feeling that I am the best me at any appearance that I have had, have or will have in the future.