Last time I
was on blogger was such a long time ago that I didn’t even remember my login credentials.
Eventually my brain found it tucked in the back and I was able to logon. This time
I wrote it down so that I won’t forget it…
Anyhow – it
has been more than a week now. It’s been way more than that. I lived here sense
September and now it’s almost may. It is crazy. Time just flies by! For example,
this week has felt as the longest ever, but at the same time I woke up this morning
believing it was Wednesday but it’s actually Friday.
My 8 months
in Stockholm has been everything else then easy. It’s a new city and a lot of
the things that I’m used to is way different here. I had a hard time adjusting
to life here, but I think that both me and Tobias has done a great job. We have
accomplished so much here. Not just for work but in our relationship as well. Every
day it feels like we are getting closer to one another.
My mother
in law sad something really nice to me yesterday. She asked for how long me and
Tobias had been together now and I sad that it’s almost 1 and half year. And she
answered with “what? It feels like you have been together for 5”. And that is
how it feels for us to. Not in a way that we are “used” to each other, more in
a – we are so close to each other that being apart just feels weird kinda stat.
And that my friends IS amazing.
Every now
and then I ask myself if my life is “good” and with good I mean if I do things
in my life that feels worth doing. I have had times where I have just been standing
in a corner trying to run but nobody has given me something to run on so I tried
to give it to myself and I have ended up in another corner because it is really
hard to build roads. I guess that this all sound veeeery fluffy and hard to understand
but that is how it felt. But now, I have been given a place where I can run.
I’m happy
that I got a job in Stockholm. It has been and still is great and I’m not going
to lie, I have had some hard times here and I’m sure that I’m going to have
more, because that’s just how life is, and should be I think. If there are no challenges,
what will you then do? Just lie there? At least that not my style.
But why did
I take the job in Stockholm? Well, I did it because I knew that it would give
me a better future, it’s a great start to have work at this big of a company
and I know that it is something that I can look back on and think of as an achievement
in my life, which is pretty neat.
In other
words: yes, I’m doing something that is good. I’m doing something that is good
for me and I really like that I am. I’m taking responsibility for my, Tobias
and my family’s future and that is great. BUT. I’m longing for something more. I
want to be able to help others, I want to do something that brings others joy
and happiness. I hope that in a near future I will be able to contribute to
something that is bigger than just me and the people around me. Something so
big that I feel that I have contribute to a better future for all of us. I know
that it is to dream big, but I have had a great mom, and I have a great
boyfriend, that tells me that everything that I dream of, I can do if I just
want it badly enough.
